What is Domestic Abuse?
“Domestic abuse needs each and every one of us to have the courage to call out immoral behaviours, to challenge the false narratives and victim-blaming and to make a stand against tyranny behind closed doors. Every woman and child deserves to live free from fear and violence. We all have a responsibility to act to allow them to achieve this basic human right.” Luke Hart
While domestic abuse is not defined in Irish legislation, An Garda Síochána defines it as the physical, sexual, financial, emotional or psychological abuse of one person against another who is a family member or is or has been an intimate partner regardless of gender or sexuality. The term ‘Domestic Abuse’ goes beyond actual physical violence. It can also involve emotional abuse such as the destruction of property, isolation from friends, family and other potential sources of support, threats to others including children and pets, stalking, and control over access to money, personal items, food, transportation, the telephone, internet and social media (HSE Policy on Domestic, Sexual and Gender based Violence, 2010). The Domestic Violence Act 2018 has provided for a new criminal offence of coercive control. This is psychological abuse in an intimate relationship that causes fear of violence, or serious alarm or distress that has a substantial adverse impact on a person’s day-to-day activities (Domestic Violence Act 2018).
Physical
- Biting
- Punching
- Poking/Pinching
- Kicking
- Pulling hair
- Pushing
- Burning
Using weapons (knives, etc) - Using items as weapons (phone, cups, reckless driving to instill fear/compliance etc)
- Rape
Sexual
- Sexual assault – forcing unwanted/unsafe/degrading sexual activity
- Groping/Grabbing
- Sexual harassment – Grooming/forced sterilisation/forced pregnancy
- Sexual exploitation – Forcing victim to partake in pornographic film-making/forcing victim to watch pornography
- Rape/no consent
- Rejecting sex and intimacy
Financial/Social
- Withholding money/social welfare/credit card
- Stealing from or defrauding a partner of money or assets
- Preventing partner from working/choosing an occupation
- Making social contact awkward so friends feel uncomfortable
- Limiting access to transport
- Social media monitoring
- Locking doors
Social isolation
Emotional/Psychological
- Threatening/intimidation
- Destruction of personal property
- Shouting/screaming/name calling
- Stalking/harassment
- Monitoring
- Embarassing/mocking in public
- Criticizing/diminishing goals
- Excessive possessiveness
- Gaslighting
- Threatening suicide/self-harm to victim
- Using children – undermining parenting/threats to children/harming the children
- Blaming the victim for how the abuser feels
Digital
- Sharing/threatening to share intimate/private pictures online
- Harassment by sending insulting/threatening text messages
- Making fake social media profiles
- Monitoring online activity
- Limiting access to digital devices making victim digitally dependent
- Checking internet search history
- Using technology to track whereabouts
- Demanding passwords
Coersive Control
- Isolation from friends and family
- Deprivation of basic needs, such as food
- Monitoring the person’s time
- Monitoring the person via online communication tools or spyware
- Controlling where a person goes, who they see, what they wear and when they can sleep
- Depriving of access to support services, such as medical services
- Repeatedly putting a person down, such as saying they are worthless
- Humiliating, degrading or dehumanising the person
- Controlling their finances
- Making threats or intimidating the person
- Rigid enforcement of arbitrary and vacillating rules.
It is a common misconception that perpetrators just ‘lost control’ when they emotionally or physically abuse their partners. Domestic violence and coercive control is the exact opposite of losing control. Perpetrators know what they are doing and use their abusive tactics of choice to maintain dominance in the relationship. (Stark, E (2009) Coercive Control – How men entrap women in personal life.)